Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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