Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
