I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
