I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
