Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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