You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
