i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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