let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
