I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
