idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
