i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
