I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
