No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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