I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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