I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
