I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
