I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
