you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
