But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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