dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
