Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
