I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
