It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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