Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
