What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
