the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
