margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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