um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
