i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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