i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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