Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
