I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
