yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
