I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
