I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
