After last night, I could never be a politician.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
