I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
