thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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