I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
