wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
