Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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