Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
