She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
