Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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