Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
