Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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