You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
