told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
