Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
