I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
