I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
