when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
