she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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